Subtitles “Swingtown” The Pilot – english eng English

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Download subtitles of Subtitles “Swingtown” The Pilot – english eng English

listen up,folks.
It’s time to stub out those cigarettes and finish up your cocktails.
I’ve just initiated our descent into o’hare.
The weather down there is hot and muggy,so I hope your bicentennial plans include…
Too rough.
Include a dip in the la.
Fasten your seat belts,good people.
I’ll have you at the gate in 30.
-It’ll blister.
-It’s not that bad.How’s,um…
Tammy.Young,useless,in tears,of course.
I’ll check in the back for some burn cream.
Goin’ up to the spirit in the sky…
July 2,1976
you okay,tammy.
Oh,I’m so embarrassed.I just hate myself.
Take it easy.
It was an accident.
Your shirt’s ruined.
It’s okay.I have plenty.
Your wife is going to kill me.
my wife is going to love you.
Your love is liftin’ me higher
than I’ve ever been lifted before
quench my desire and I’ll be at your side forever more
now once I was downhearted disappointment was my closest friend…
is everything okay.
-Have any questns for me.
-Uh,no.
-Ngratulations,bruce.
-That’s it.
Well,everything but the mortgage.
sorry,sorry.got kind of caught up in the moment there.
No,no,I wish my little lady were still as enthusiastic.
I cat imagine why she wouldn’t be.
Don’forget to let me know when you and the missus have that housewarming.
I’m gonna give our guest a ride home.
It was really nice meeting you,mrs.Decker.
-Uh,you’re really,um…
-you,too.
-What’s so interesting.
-Our new neighbors.
They look happy.
Yeah,I was just thinking the same thing.
I’ll be right back.
god,herit comes.
Drop me back at the train.
Can’t you take the rest of the day.
Not really the right ssage to send my first week on the new job.
This is going to change everything,isn’t it,bruce.
Only for the better.
hey,take these.
Ready.On three.
-three.
-Oh,come on.get back here.
Swingtown Season01 Episode01
88 cents a pound.
Why is it,whenever we have a block party,I always draw the most expensive item at thpicnic.
Why don’t we switch.I’ll bring the meat and you can gethe corn.
We may not be able to afford a mansion off the lake,but we can certainlypring for a few hamburgers.
You have any extra cardboard boxes in the back.
Oh,sure,mrs.Miller.You want big,all,medium.
Whatever you can spare.We’re moving this weekend.
To a lakeside mansion.
That’s right,frank.My butler will be doing the shopping from now on.
I’llet them by the side door.
Hi,how are you doing today.
You’re going to miss me,you know.
No,I’m not,’cae I’m only moving a few blocks away.
Ricky,off.
Last thing you need is more sugar– put it back.
-Mom.
-Rick.
Cart,too,bj.
D hurry up; you still have that whole basement to pack.
If it’s only three blocks,then why do you even need to move at all.
They say change is good.
To be honest,I feel like I’m ready for the next thing,you know.
Hmm,guess I’ve always been happy with the way things are.
You know,all this time,I had no idea you were so unsatisfied.
Hi,how are you.
I have a coupon for that.
Samantha.
Where are you.
samantha.
I need you to run to the aP.We’re out of tin foil.
Come on in and I’ll give you some money.
Hurry it up.
Just a few more minutes,guys.
I know some of you are heading out of town for the fourth,
so we’ll hold off talking about your essays till next week.
It’s the only long weekend we get during summer session,so…
celebra your freedom wisely.
Looking forward to it,laurie.
I’m not going anywhere.
This weekend.
My family’s moving,so,I guess,technically,I am going somewhere.
Just a few blocks,but still.
My dad is such a capitalist.
uh,that’s it,everyone,come on,bring them up.
mr.Stephens.
Have a good weekend.
Oh,you,too,laurie.Good luck with the move.
what are you doing here,logan.
Giving you a ride,if you hop i wasting a day off if you don’T.
you’re stoned.
-uh,pomade,dye.
-Things you put on your hair.
uh,butter,uh,sheets.
Things that you spread.
$10,000.
Sorry that took so long.
Kid lives way out in schaumburg at her parents’ house.
-You believe that.
-YeS.
What was her name again.Cammy.Kimmy.
Something like that.
She had a name tag.
Tammy.But she will probably be fired after her performance today,
or at least kicked down to commuter service.
Seems me you enjoyed her performance just fine.
Are you jealous.
You know you are the only stewardess for me.
jerk.
Let’s just keep it in our age bracket for awhile,okay.
Done.
darling,if you want me to be closer to you get closer to me…
-Honey.
-In the bedroom.
Kids around.Thought could swing them by the house.
Bj’s across the street,laurie’s not back yet.
Even better.
Let’s head over without them.
Might be the only time we get the new house all to ourselves.
Bruce,do I seem unsatisfied to you.
what are you talking about.
We…we got everything we er wanted.
Nothing.Forget I said it.
So…what do you say.
Just leave it in the hall.
And stop breaking into that house next door.
The new family moves in tomorrow.
I can’t believe these were hiding in your basement the wholtime.
Your dad’s a perv.
He’ll also be a murderer if he finds out we swiped these.
Relax,we timed it so he’ll think the movers stole ‘em.It’s perfect.
You know,this chick looks just like betsy burdis.
No way.
I’m not talking about the face.
-I should send in a polaroid of her.
-Like she’d give you one.
I’m telling you,if her mom hadn’t come home last week,we’d have gone all the way.
You and betsy burdis.Right.
What you doing,ricky.
go away,dad.
Why is this door locked.
It’s open.
Everything okay in here.
Fine.What do you want.
Can’t give a hello to the old man after work.
Hi.Can you go now.
Bj,your mother just called.She’s running late with dinner.
I’ll set another place.
It’s your lucky day,pal.
My wife’s famous sloppy joes tonight,am I right.
Every friday.Go wash up.
Where the heck did you get this.
Nowhere.
Some kid.
Don’t let your mother catch you with this.
She’d have a coronary on the spot.
Let’s do this right.
welcome home,mrs.Miller.
I swear,if your back goes out…
bruce,I’m a mess.
Who’s complaining.
The windows.
Okay.Pick whatever room you want.
They’re all ours.
hey hey what’s the matter with your head,yeah…
bruce,please.Hold on,give me two seconds to catch up.
Okay,one…two.
Bruce…bruce,just hold on.
What.What is the problem.
It’s easier for you to get there,you kw that,and,and…
just not always so easy to keep you there once I join in.
low blow.
I…I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean it like that.
How did you mean it.
hi.We were just heading out for a run,and s you pull up.
I think we’re interrupting.
No,my husband was ju…we-we were just…
we’ll come back.
No,it’s fine,really…
-I’m susan.
-Trina decker.
This is my husband tom.We live right acrosshe street.
-Bruce miller.
Welcome to the neighborhood.
dom perignon.
I’m afraid we don’t have any glasses.
Well,tell you what.
If you’d like to share,why don’t you bring it to our party tomorrow night.
Come either way,we’ll light some fireworks,you can make some new friends…whatever you’re into
-Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.
-we’ll try to make it.
Great.I’m guessing you have children.
Well,u might want to get a sitter.This partyill go late.
Hey,I’m heading over to schaeffer’s to pick up the booze.
-Need anything while I’m out.
-Aspirin.
And a pack of 100s.
Sohat do you think of our new neighbors.
We,they seem nice.Good-lookin’.
My guess is he hit it big in the market; not huge.
You think they’ll show tonight.
-Why,you interested.
-I don’t know yet.
Seemed a little straight and narrow.
Might be kind of a tough sell.
Syea is boring.
ricky,get rid of those things before you lose a finger.
hello.
Hi,logan.I guess you get the honor ofhe last phone call in the old house– hold on.
Laurie,logan’s on the phone.
Hey,what’s happening.
We’re at the bitter end,mercifully.
I don’t know,can we decide later.
Because I’m anding in the living room with my mom staring at me.
Okay,bye.
What is it you think you can’t say in front of me
Mom,can you just not.Pleas
no,I can’t “just not.
This has been going on all summer.
Things getting serious.
Logan hasn’t read a book since he finished high school.
He can barely hold a five-minute conversation with me.
Well,it’s not the conversation I’m worried about.
He’s an older boy.
Times have changed,mom.
Women can decide if and when they want to have sex with someone.
So,are you.
Having sex.
you say that like it’s the worst thing a person could do.
That’s not an answer.
Look,I get that I’m the same age that you were when dad knocked you up
but you don’t need to worry,’cause I’m smarter than that.
I know you are.
I just– I want you kid to have happy,healthy lives.
It keeps me up at night.
You know there are better things to do at night.
Okay,that’s everything.I sent the truck ahead.
Hey,dad,what’s the last book you read.
The last book.I,uh…
I thumbed through the shark parts of jaws.Doeshat count.
What do you think,mom.Es that count.
So,anyone have any final words to say for the old casa.
nah,me,neither.
Come on,let’s hit it.
-Bruce,just a sec.
-What.
I’m st going to check upstairs in case I left anything.
There’s nothing up there,babe,I doub-checked…
actually,dad,could you get this for me.
It’s kind of heavy.
I swear,between you and your mother…
I call the room farthest from them.
Excellent.
i think it was this’ll be great.
are you trying to be ironic.
That’s your department,laur.I just like the song.
this is so humiliating.
Hey,I’m gog to get you.
Hey.Be right back.
need a hand there,big shot.
You’re about the only guy I’m going to miss around here,rog.
I wish you could come with us.
If you,uh,need some help backing out,I’ll make sure you don’t hit any kids.
See ya.
What the heck is keeping your mother.
Susan.
uh,it’s a scrapbook.Mostly pictures.
Uh,pressed flowers from your garden,some of my recipes.
Janet,that is so thoughtful.
I know,I know– I’m being ridiculous.
It’s just you…
you’ve been my best friend for so,so long…
that’s not going to change.
Everybody’s waiting,sue.
Go,go,go.
what’d I y,nothing left,huh.
I’ call you.
Take it easy.Bye.
Funny days in the park every day’s the fourth of july…
hello.
It’s me.
Just wanted to see if you went home with a blue ribbon for your apple pie.
Janet: Four years in a row.
how’s it going over there.
I keep thinking we had to have moretuff.
This place is so big.
Keep us together so,uh,what are you doing for dinner tonight.
God,I haven’t even thought about it.
Bruce just walked in.
He wanted me to apologize for missing the barbeque.
Tell him inderstand.
It was a big day.
can I call you later.
I’ll be here.
Okay.Bye.
How’s old janet.
It her wrists yet.
Janet may be a handful,but she is the most loyal person I know.
Loyal or clingy.
Stop it.
Okay,okay.
You know…
things are pretty damn good for us right now.
Here’s to you and me,enjoying every minute ofT.
let’s go to the neighbors party tonight.
Start things off right.
We can’t leave bj by himself.
He’s a big boy; he’ll be fine.
Okay if I go to the movies tonight.
absolutely.
My treat.
Big date.
Just rick.
Don’t you have any other friends thanhat kid.
Susan: Do you want me to give you a ride,honey.
We’re going to bike.
See how well that worked out.
those things are all nitrates.
Worse than cigarettes.
What are you doing here,mr.Stephens.
It’s still a public beach,last ickheed.
No…
I mean,yeah,but…
don’t think it’s weird,running into one of your students here.
I mean,not weird,just…
out of context.
Right.
I should warn you,I also go to theupermarket,the post office,and the occasional dylan concert.
Dylan.Really.
Did yoread my essay yet.
I did.
That doesn’t sound like an “A.
You didn’t follow the assignment.
Because tropic of cancer isn’t approved source material.
No.Henry miller’s a master.
You were supposed to choose one terary example of kierkegaardian freedom,
and then one from your n personal experience.
Unless you and anais nin were pals,u didn’t answer the question.
Anais nin is so much more interesting than I am.
Noing I’ve done comes close to what she writes about.
Guess you have to work on that.
that your boyfriend.
Yeah…
not really.
Um,I should go.
Hey,happy independence day.
My makeup bag went missing,so I had to borrow laurie’S.
Too much.
Are you kidding.
knock,knock.
Hi,guys.
What are you doing here.
Thought you might want the extra brats and burgers from the cookout.
Leovers…now that’s a hoewusarming gift.
Hey,we also brought a six-pack.
I’m just messing with you,rog.Much appreciated.
Hey,I wish we knew you were coming.
We were just stepping out.
so it seems.
When you said you didn’t ha any plans tonight,I thought…
well,the new neighbors invited us over for a drink.That’s all.
Well,don’T…
let us stand in your way.
Out with the old,in with the new.
Why don’t you join us.
We won’t know a soul there.
Oh,no,no,that’S…
are you sure.
The invitation seemed open enough,didn’t it,bruce.
Well,I suppose,if,uh…
roger can borrow one of bru’s shirts,unless barbeque stns are the new fashion.
me on.
couldn’t you ha put on some aftershave.
You smell like lightefluid.
hey,it’s the new kids in town.
Susan and…
Bruce.
Bruce.
We were hoping you guys could make it.
I hope you don’t mind,we broht some old friends.
Old neighbors,actually.
The more the merrier.
you know,you and tommy d really got it figured out,trine.
The guy has no idea how luckhe has it with you.
Susan,hi.
You two get settled in okay.
The best that we could.
Our old furniture barely fills half the new house.
Maybe you could give my wife some decorating tips.
Sure.Call a decorator.
who’d up for a harvey wallbanger.
Sounds like a winner.
Gimlet for me
I’ll just have a chablis.
Oh,trina,this is janet.Janet’s my old…
say “old neighbor” one more time,I’m going to go home and hang myself.
I was going to say,my friend who used to live across the street.
And that lug of a man who lumbered off without introducing himself is my husband roger.
How about a tour.
You,um…
-sure.
I’ll jt wait here for my husband.
Yeah,I’ll just wait.
Let’s go.
laurie: I’m getting eaten alive.
Do you have any bug spray.
If anyone’s biting you tonight,it’s going to be me.
You’re a pig.
You like it.
cool.
Maybe,if you’re a sixth-grader.
How far up your butt does that stick go.
Sorry.
Warm beer and bottle rockets don’t really do it for me.
What is with you tonight.
Alof the sudden,you act like you’re too cool to hang.
Too bored is more like it.
Boring is wasting the entire summer taking some ap english class you don’even need.
Philosophy
same difference.
You know what.
You’re an idiot.
You don’t know anything about me.
Know enough to get in your pants every night.
Where you going.
Laur.
* you can call it another lonely day *
and this is the bedroom.
Oh,trina,thank god.
Do you have any coke.
Oh,no,honey,never when I host.
But I think bud green has plen.
But just watch out;he’s more handsy than usual.
I’m sorry.Ve you two met.
Oh,gail saxton,this is susan miller.
Susan just moved into the house next door to you.
Do you have any coke.
Sorry.
Honey,I think stu’s looking for you.
big surprise.
she’s harmless.
Miserable,but harmless.
I keep saying they suld open up their marriage like everyone else,
but her husband’s a little uptight.
You and tom have an open marriage.
We,don’t you.
No,bruce would go ape if I cheat on him.
Oh,well,it’s not cheating *******.
He was the devil.
You think your dad would kill you if you were possessed.
Definitely.
Mine wou puss out.
Want to sleep over tonight.
bastard.
You lying little jerk.
Betsy.
Don’t you say my name.
you told your maggot little friends that you’re doing it with me.
No…
bull.
Say you’re a liar.
Say it.
Stop.
I-I ma it up.I’m sorry.
if you ever even say my name again,I swear,you’re dead.
I’ll go get somebody.
Don’T…
you’ bleeding.
Leave me alone.
Are you deaf.Get out of here.
I can get you into the pump room,the chop house.
You want a membership to the playboy club,give me a call.
Mile high club,talk to this guy.
But I can get yothe girl.
Thanks.
I’m going to go look f susan.
I’ll be right here.
What about your old man.
Sent him home.
Think I’m going to the basement.
What’s in the basement.
Playroom.
Give me a hand with the fireworks.
Sure.
your,uh…your new neighbors are really something.
I’ll say.
uh,trina.
Uh,I was trying to find susan.
Have you seen her.
She was heading towards the basement.
Down the hall,second door on the left.
you having fun.
trina gave me a quaalude.
you’re kidding.
How do you feel.
So far,so good.
Good.
You wouldn’t believe what she suggested.
Actually,uh,I-I think tom suggested the same thing.
It’S…
it’s crazy,right.
Right.
hurry.Hurry.Hurry.
I know.
why don’t you kick the shoes off,mom,anjoin the party.
roger,we are leaving right now.
-Wh-what’s wrong.
-You won’t believe what kind of party thiis.
We don’T…We don’t belong here.
You have no idea what kind of people these are.
susan,I’m not kidding.
They are…
sick.
we’re gonna stay.
where is it.
My ring.
I know you have it.
That looks like a wedding ring.
It was.My dad’S.
And is he dead.
I don’t know.Or care.
Then why do you keep it.
To remind me not to do anything stupid like get married.
Or talk to people like you.
Are you running away.
You should mind your own business.
anyone need a drink.
I’m good.
Bruce.
* And leave tomorrow behind *
* ooh-ooh,dream weaver I believe yetan gou c me through the night…*
you have great hands,susan.
Soft.
* fly me high throh the starry skies *
* maybe to an astral plane cross the highways of fantasy *
* help me to forget today’s pain…*
why don’t the four of us go someplace a little quieter.
* ooh-ooh,dream weaver I believe we can reach e morning light *
* though the dawn may be coming soon *
* there still may be some time *
* fly me away to the bright se of the moon…*
why don’t you come to bed.
Because we live in a pigsty.
don’T…
Touch me.
ricky…
Oh,my god.
Go get some towels.
hey,hey,hey,hey,hey.
it’s all right,it’s all right.
* I believe we can reach the morning light dream weaver…*
July 4,1976
* I can see clearly now the rain has gone *
* I can see all obstacles in my way *
* gone are the dark clouds that had me blind *
* it’s gonna be a bright a bright bright bright sunshiny day *
* it’s gonna be a bright bright bright bright sunshiny day *
* I think I can make it now the pain is gone *
* all of the bad feelings have disappeared *

Subtitles Unsupervised – english eng English

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Subtitles “2 Broke Girls” And the Married Man Sleepover – spanish spa en Español

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Descarga subtítulos de Subtitles “2 Broke Girls” And the Married Man Sleepover – spanish spa en Español

Oye, esta noche duermo en casa de Deke.
Guiño, guiño, guiño, guiño.
¿La casa de Deke? ¿Quieres
decir el contenedor de tu novio?
Sí. Así que necesito…
¿La vacuna contra el tétanos?
¿Estándares mas altos?
No, un condón.
Estoy a punto de tener
sexo y quiero sentirlo mal.
Tengo que tener uno en mi bolso
de la última vez que tuve sexo.
¿Existían los bolsos la
última vez que tuviste sexo?
No, llevábamos pieles de
animales atados con palos.
No ha pasado tanto tiempo.
Aquí hay uno al lado de la
entrada de la película “Precious”.
Vale, ha pasado tanto tiempo.
¿Viste “Precious” sin un condón?
Dice ·”mejor si se usa
antes de septiembre de 2012.”
Igual que la leche de aquí.
Ojalá conociera a un tío con un condón.
Un hombre, cualquier hombre.
Oleg, ¿de casualidad no tendrás…?
Bien, estos deberían
servirte para esta noche.
Pero si no es así,
puedes usar estas bolsas para
congelados y una gomilla.
-DIFUNDE LA PALABRA-
Max, he colocado los boles,
así que lo único que tienes que hacer
es llenarlos con ensalada de col.
Dijo la chica que estuvo en la lista
de Forbes de “diez a tener en cuenta”.
Esta noche no puedo
hacer el trabajo extra.
Normalmente diría que
porque estoy borracha,
pero esta noche es porque me
duele la espalda y estoy borracha.
Toma, cariño, tengo algo que
podría ayudar a mejorar tu espalda.
¿Una reducción de pecho?
¿Por qué escupirías en la cara de Dios?
Calmaos todos. Estas no
se van a ningún sitio.
Y si lo hacen, voy con ellas.
Tengo parches de frío para
aliviar los músculos.
Y cuando no funcionen,
tengo otra marca llamada “maui wowie”.
Recoged.
– Te veo luego. Te quiero.
– Te quiero.
Deke, tu aliento. ¿Qué es eso?
Teriyaki de cecina de
ternera. ¿Por qué, está malo?
No. Dame otro chute.
Está delicioso.
Ya lo sabes.
Max, ya que vais en serio,
¿por qué no tomas la píldora?
Así, cada noche no tendrías que jugar
a “¿qué puedo convertir en un condón?”
La píldora cuesta unos
cincuenta pavos al mes.
Eso es más de lo que cuesta
criar a un puto bebé.
Bueno, tu novio es rico.
Él puede pagarlo.
Genial, ahora soy una mamá de
basura blanca
Ni hablar.
Me estoy guardando la fortuna de
Deke para cosas más importantes,
como Doritos Dinamita.
Es el filet mignon de los aperitivos.
Yo tomaría la píldora,
pero el único hombre
interesado en mí está casado,
así que supongo que eso es
más bien un trago amargo.
En serio, Max. Piénsalo.
Vale. ¿Por qué los tíos no
tienen que tomar la píldora?
Tenemos que tomar todas las pastillas.
Anticonceptivas, Midol, roofies…
Bonjour, Caroline.
Chef Nicolas. ¿Qué haces
en el restaurante?
No, nunca quise que
me vieras así vestida.
Sí, así que se un caballero
y da un paso atrás,
porque por mal que se vea, huele peor.
Creo que estás preciosa.
Tu mujer está preciosa.
Oh, sí. Dale, chica.
¿Puedo hablarte a solas ahí en…
supongo que debo llamarlo restaurante?
Pero solo un minuto. Estoy trabajando.
¿Qué es ese olor?
El especial de hoy. Pastel de res.
No huele a res.
Porque no es res,
no se ha hecho hoy y no es especial.
Escucha, Caroline.
Tenemos todo el drama de una relación,
y ni siquiera tenemos una relación.
Por favor, conóceme mejor.
Ven a mi casa a cenar.
¿Cenar en tu casa solos tú y yo?
¿Cómo crees que le sentará a tu mujer?
Tenemos una relación abierta.
¿Crees que soy el tipo de hombre
que se acuesta con otra
sin preguntarle a su mujer?
Eso es muy americano.
¿Max?
¿Por qué llamas a Max?
Quiero asegurarme de que
no he perdido la cabeza.
Nicolas dice que le ha
hablado a su mujer de mí,
y que le ha dado permiso
para que nos acostemos.
¡Esa es buena!
Mi jefe en Quiznos me dijo una vez
que el deseo de su mujer moribunda
era que le dejara meter
la cabeza en mis tetas.
Vale, puede que a ella le hayan metido
la cabeza en las tetas fuera de Quiznos.
Pero yo no me trago esto.
Sí, sabía que no me creerías,
así que he organizado una llamada de
Skype con ella desde Francia el viernes.
Espera, ¿quieres que hable
con tu mujer de sexo?
¿Estoy en Dr. Phil?
Hola a todos.
Tengo un vestido nuevo y es la hostia.
Oye, mírale.
Nadie me había dicho que han
añadido un tío cachas al menú.
Perdona, pero tío cachas hay en el
menú desde que empecé a trabajar aquí.
Vaya, vaya.
Por fin…
hay alguien en el restaurante
tan guapo como yo.
Hola, Soy Sophie Kuchenski.
Nicolas Saintcroix.
¿Y además es francés?
¡Venga ya!
Perdona, estaba hablando con Caroline.
¿Quién?
Yo, la dueña de los pies
que estás pisando.
Espera un minuto.
¿Es este el hombre casado?
¡Chica!
¡Te voy a dar una ventaja de
dos días y después es mío!
¿Por qué te importa lo que
su mujer piensa de tu pelo?
No te vas a acostar con ella.
Aunque serías mucho más
interesante si lo hicieses.
Tampoco me voy a acostar con él.
Y cuando le diga eso a su
mujer, quiero estar guapa.
Tengo que estar un 20 por
ciento más guapa que ella.
Y ya que Skype hace que estés
un 20 por ciento más fea,
tengo que estar un 40 por
ciento más guapa que ahora.
¿Te das cuenta de que hablar de mates
en una peluquería es mi mayor pesadilla?
Bienvenidas al salón Tristan Evans.
Hola. Estamos aquí para el
corte de pelo de estudiantes.
¿Perdón?
Los cortes de pelos a 6
dólares para gente pobre
de gente que en realidad
no sabe cortar el pelo aún.
Max, eso no es verdad. Este
es el salon Tristan Evans.
Estoy segura de que todos los que
están matriculados aquí son genios.
Al menos dime que son gays.
Tomad asiento allí.
Haré que alguien de la escuela
de peluquería venga y…
¡Shh! Muy alto.
Escuela de peluquería. Lo pillo.
Nos sentaremos allí hasta que lleguen.
Chica, siéntate allí, relájate,
Y deja que Jameis haga
florecer este capullo.
Qué raro, porque me
especialicé capullos.
Chica, estas en todo.
Está un poco fría.
Lo siento, ¿cuál era tu nombre?
¿Dan? ¿Solo Dan?
¿No Danny o Dantrell?
Necesito coger el acondicionador.
Maldita sea, Max, tengo un heterosexual.
¿Qué te hace pensar que es heterosexual?
Sigue empujando mi cabeza hacia
abajo antes de que este lista.
¿Está el agua demasiado caliente?
¿Por qué? ¿Están mis
pantalones demasiado húmedos?
Chica, ¿estamos enamorados?
Max, necesito que me des a tu gay.
Sí, claro.
Te daría mi huevo izquierdo
antes que darte a mi gay
Ni siquiera ibas a cortarte el pelo
Ya, pero siempre quise saber
como se siente que te laven el pelo
Sin que una enfermera de colegio
pase ese peine enano por él.
¿Dan?
Allí tengo una revista
Con una foto de un corte de
pelo bob chic, picado a capas.
Puedes hacerlo, ¿verdad?
Claro.
Bob a capas, entendido.
¿Qué tal?
¡Dan, Dan, Dan!
Vale, hecho. Estás lista para el corte.
Vámonos. No puedo arriesgarme a que
un hetero de descuento me corte el pelo.
Te veré en casa. Estoy muy
cerca de un pelorgasmo.
Ése debería haber sido mío.
No he tenido un pelorgasmo en años.
No ha tenido ningún orgasmo en años.
¡Dios mío!
Max, ¿es ese pelo tu nuevo método anticonceptivo?
Te pareces a Dame Edna.
¡Eso es lo que pedí!
¡Hola!
Ahora mi exterior coincide
con mi interior,
porque siempre he sido
una vieja travesti
atrapada dentro del
cuerpo de una joven negra.
¡Hola!
Hola, Max.
Solía llevar mi pelo así.
Lo usaba para el contrabando de
queso y cigarrillos en la cárcel.
Hola, Caroline.
Solo por comprobar
¿Sigues sin acostarte con ese
chico francés con el que yo sí lo haré?
Todavía no, Sophie. Está casado.
Vale, bien.
Porque estoy aquí para hablar con
esa esposa y lanzar mi hoo-ha al ruedo.
Incluso me he comprado un gorro plano
francés para parecer más francesa.
Si, compré el gorro porque no me ha dado
tiempo a dejarme el pelo del sobaco.
Vale, la llamada es en un minuto.
Me ocupo yo a partir de aquí.
Estaba planeando llevar
mi bolso Louis Vuitton.
Pero el gato se cagó en él.
Y, Max, acércame esa lámpara a la cara,
Para que no se me vean como
ocho barbillas en Skype
Vale, pero si me acerco demasiado a la
bombilla puede que mi pelo explote.
Aquí está.
Sophie, adiós.
No, no me voy, cariño.
Ese bombón francés y yo
somos el uno para el otro.
Quiero decir, mírame.
Estoy usando una boina.
Tengo una barra de pan.
¡Bonjour, perras!
Está bien, respira profundamente,
y recuerda, esto es ridículo.
Buenos días, Caroline.
Buenos días. Tú debes ser Juliette.
Es un placer conocerte.
Y a ti también, Juliette.
Solo quiero dejar las cosas
claras sobre Nicolas y yo.
No soy el tipo de…
Sí, tienes mi permiso
para dormir con Nicolas.
Adiós.
¿Eso es todo? ¿Se ha ido?
Ni siquiera he podido decirle
“perras antes que colegas” en francés.
Tengo mucho más que decir.
¿Qué más tienes que decir?
Ella dijo que podemos acostarnos con él.
No, nunca voy a acostarme con Nicolas,
no importa lo que diga su mujer.
Bien, porque nunca podrías
compartir a un francés.
Ni siquiera compartes tus
tostadas francesas.
Gracias por venir.
Lo prometo, solo una copa en la casa
de Nicolas y luego iremos al cine.
Y Max, no me puedo creer que
hayas salido a la calle con ese pelo.
Me gusta.
Me recuerdas a mi tía Esther,
pero no tan buenorra.
oh, Caroline.
Veo que has traído a Deke
¿Y a la madre de Max?
La única cosa que tienen en común mi madre
y mi pelo es que los dos están colocados.
Nicolas, no me voy a quedar.
Sé que te has preocupado
en hacer la cena,
así que no quería ser maleducada, pero
solo nos quedaremos para tomar una copa.
Dios, estás preciosa.
Quizás dos copas.
Pero nada de cena.
Bueno, la cena para la que no
nos quedábamos estaba deliciosa.
Si, deberíamos no quedarnos más a menudo.
Me gusta tu piso, tío.
Este es un lugar perfecto para vivir
si deseas cometer crímenes sexys
Bueno, tenemos que irnos.
No. ¿No os quedáis para el postre?
Me estáis rompiendo el corazón.
Bueno, tal vez solo un
trozo. Podemos compartirlo.
Pensaba que no querías compartirlo.
No está casado con su postre,
Max, y es solo un trozo.
Nosotros estamos aquí para
que él no obtenga un pedazo.
Tienes un escenario bastante chulo
para un hombre casado que está soltero.
Tarta de creme caramel au coconut.
Bueno, no es la ballena helada Fudgie.
Gracias.
Me encanta cocinar para los amigos.
Amigos preciosos.
Nicolas, sólo porque tu mujer
me diera permiso
no significa que vaya
a dejar que me lleves
a esa cama enorme con lo que
parecen ser unas sábanas buenísimas
y me hagas el amor
durante toda la noche.
Y luego otra vez por la mañana.
¿Cómo va tu espalda, Esther?
Oh, Morty.
Tengo que decirte algo.
¿Es tu corazón?
No, tomo la píldora.
Lo sé. Tomas un montón de píldoras.
No, la píldora-píldora.
¿La píldora-píldora-píldora?
Sí, ¿ves?
Simplemente sacas una cada vez.
Son como Pez para zorras.
Hablando de zorras…
Oh, tío, esto es incómodo.
Y he testificado en contra
de la mitad de mi familia.
Estoy de acuerdo, Max.
Las cosas están un poco incómodas.
Así que ¿por qué no hacemos
esto lo más raro posible?
Mierda, sabía que iba a matarnos.
Tango, ¿alguien se une?
Sinceramente, prefiero que nos mates.
Vale, bien, tenemos que irnos, Esther.
No, Morty, ¡siéntate!
No me voy a perder el espectáculo.
Viene con la cena.
¿Tango? Nicolas, no
puedes hablar en serio.
¿Tal vez no sabes bailar, Caroline?
¿Que no sé bailar?
Un verano le enseñé bailes
de salón a adolescentes sin techo.
¿Porque cuando estás bailando
no tienes hambre?
Avance rápido.
Esta es mi parte menos favorita
de la familia Addams.
– Mira a sus pantalones.
– Lo sé.
Ese Tango esta haciendo que
bailen aun más apretados.
Espera. No tenemos que tener sexo.
Lo prometo.
Tengo que ir al baño, Max. Tú también.
Entra, entra, entra, entra, entra.
Vale, ¿dónde está la coca?
No hay coca.
¿Por qué mandarías a nadie
al baño si no tienes coca?
Eso es grosero.
No, solo iba a hablar contigo.
Entonces definitivamente
voy a necesitar coca.
Vale, mira. No vas a dormir con él.
Por supuesto que no.
Pero esta noche estoy pensando
que hay algo especial aquí.
Quiero decir, hablamos y nos reímos.
¿Qué es esto, “Anteriormente en
Caroline”?
Si os estáis colocando aquí sin mí,
me voy a cabrear mucho.
Ojalá.
No, Caroline quiere tener
relaciones sexuales con Nicolas.
¿Incluso después del tango?
Escuchad, ahora estoy pensando que
quiero quedarme a dormir, pero sin sexo.
¿Es eso donde él la mete
pero no la mueve?
Eso es lo que hago
cuando estás desmayada.
Eso es lo que hago yo
cuando tú estás desmayado.
Mirad, nada va a
entrar en ninguna parte.
Sólo quiero conocerlo mejor.
¿De verdad piensas que puedes
dormir en su cama con él,
y no usar su pene como
almohada para el cuerpo?
Por supuesto.
hice eso con todos los chicos
del Upper East Side.
Por eso me llamaban la abrazadora
del Lado Este.
Y confía en mí,
a pesar de que su mujer me
rogó que tuviera sexo con él,
no voy a hacerlo.
¿Pero no nos dijiste que la razón
por la que nos arrastraste aqui
fue por que tenías miedo de
quedarte a solas con él?
¿Qué es esto,
“anteriormente en caroline”?
Mira, lo pillo.
Y si vosotros dos pensáis que no
soy capaz de no tener sexo con él,
Os podéis quedar un rato hasta que
estéis seguros de que voy a estar bien.
Vale, pero no nos
quedaremos toda la noche.
Aquí tenéis algunas sábanas
para vosotros, Max y Deke.
Podéis quedaros con el sofá
Caroline y yo nos quedaremos con la cama.
Otra vez, lo sentimos.
Estamos demasiado borrachos para irnos.
¡Demasiado Borrachos!
Compartiste ese único vaso de vino.
Sí, Estamos demasiado borrachos.
Entonces, ¿demasiado
borrachos para caminar?
Bueno, no sé, juzga por ti misma.
Siento muchísimo todo esto.
Está bien, Caroline.
Sé lo que está pasando aquí.
Y, Nicolas, antes de que te vayas,
solo quería darte las gracias
de nuevo por las bebidas,
la cena, el postre,
mi almohada y la almohada de Deke.
Lo entendemos, abuela. Buenas
noches. Estaremos allí.
Y yo estaré justo aquí.
Buenas noches, dormid bien y no dejéis
a las chinches tened sexo con vosotros.
Uh, ¿vamos a hacerlo, verdad?
Oh, sí. Creo que me tome
la píldora esta mañana.
O eso o no la tomé.
Guau, Max, esto es un paso muy grande
que pueda que hayas
tomado o no la píldora hoy.
Sabes, si es demasiado problema
podemos seguir usando condones.
¿Así que eres el único tío del mundo
que quiere seguir usando condones?
¿Tienes algo?
No, no es eso.
Solo digo que la píldora
es un gran compromiso.
Oh, ¿entonces no quieres dar este paso?
Porque ya he ido a
planificación familiar,
Y nunca he planificado nada.
Max, supongo que simplemente
estoy sorprendido…
Espera un segundo.
– No escucho nada.
– ¿Y?
¡Que así es como suena
Caroline teniendo sexo!
Sigue hablando como si estuviese aquí.
¡Ah, oh, si, nena!
¡Justo ahí!¡Ése es el punto!
¡Si, ahora abofetéame la cara con él!
Bueno, si estuvieses aquí
es lo que estaría diciendo.
Lo siendo, lo cambiaré.
Uh, ve a pescar, Max.
-Max ¿qué estás haciendo?
-¿Qué estás haciendo tú?
Estamos bien. Solo estamos
acostados aquí hablando.
No, no es verdad. Estoy muy cachonda.
¿Por qué? ¿Qué te está haciendo?
No es él, soy yo.
Yo soy el depredador aquí.
Tenías razón. Será mejor
No me voy a meter en la cama contigo.
Max, métete en la cama.
Sé reconocer un bloqueo cuando veo uno.
Lo siento muchísimo
Esto es estúpido.
Sé que debe de ser difícil para ti.
Uh, ya no.
Sabes, anoche cuando
estábamos en la cama,
me di cuenta de que seguramente Nicolas
será solo de esas personas de mi vida
con las que siempre estaré a punto
de tener sexo, pero nunca lo haré.
¿Sabes?
Si, como tu y yo.
– Hola, Deke.
– Hola, Earl.
La mejor conversación que he tenido hoy.
Max, anoche creo que quizás pensaste
que no quería llevar nuestra
relación al siguiente nivel.
¿Qué es esto, “anteriormente en Deke”?
Y solo para demostrar que sí
quiero ir al siguiente nivel,
te he comprado un anillo.
¡Oh, dios mío, Max! ¡Estoy tan feliz por ti!
A pesar de que siempre pensé que
yo sería la primera en estar prometida.
Creo que todos pensamos eso.
Deke, no sé que vas a sacar del bolsillo,
pero será mejor que sea una pistola.
realmente, Yo se que tu no quieres un
ring-ring
¿Pero que te parece un NuvaRIng?
¿Un Nuvaring?
¿Como es que tu sabes mi tamaño?
No puedo esperar a probarlo.
Bien, no te voy a preparar
una despedida por eso.
despues de ver como tal vez olvidaste
tomar tu pildora el primer dia,
y entonces tomaste píldoras todo el día
solo para estar segura,
Pensé que necesitas un poco de ayuda.
Entonces, Max. ¿No tendras hijos
conmigo?
Por supuesto que no.

Subtitles Unsupervised – english eng English

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Subtitles Unsupervised – english eng English

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-This is gonna be awesome!
-I don’t know, man.
This seems dangerous.
Now way, dude,
we * all the time.
Don’t you wanna see
* paint can explode?
Of course I do.
More than anything.
I freaking love fire.
I’m scared too.
They’re poppin’
up over the place now.
I’m so excited
for this fire.
I-I-It’s gonna be explosions
and fire and everything.
We gotta be careful, ’cause it’s
gonna be like a bomb going off.
Saw it on an
Internet video.
-Yo, we gotta get on the Internet more.
-I know.
I’ve been saying this for years,
but we got no computers.
-I wanna get an Internet
installed in my brain. -What?
So I wouldn’t
be stupid no more.
-Let’s just light the friggin’ fire.
-All right, dude.
You light it and then run
to safety with me and Russ.
-We’re gonna be over there.
-Why do I gotta light it?
Cause you’re
the fastest guy I know.
Dag, sometimes I wish I wasn’t so fast.
Ah, well.
Duty calls.
All right, good luck, man.
Dude,
nothing’s happening.
– That was freakin’ nuts.
– Freakin’
fire’s turned against us.
Dude, this is exactly what I was
afraid of. What the frick do we do?
Yeah, we should
do that too.
♪
Holla at your boy.
– Damn, dude.
– ♪
Whoa, whoa.
Y’all did what now?
We set a parking lot on fire
and now we’re on the friggin’ run.
We just wanted to blow up a paint can
like on the Internet Web site video.
First of all,
y’all are coming up on me at dinnertime.
Now, I know y’all live
like Lord of the Flies,
but normal people’s houses,
this is quiet time.
You don’t just come up on someone
at dinner. It’s just not done.
I’m just sitting here
eatin’ supper.
– You’re the one who told us to do it!
– I just showed y’all a video.
I ain’t tell y’all to start blowing
shit up. Get your facts right, homey.
Man, we’re freakin’
screwed, Gary.
We should just run away and grow
beards and disappear forever.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down.
Calm down. Calm down.
Just keep your mouths shut.
That’s what you gotta do.
Ain’t nobody got
to know nothin’.
What if someone
asks us though?
If anybody asks you something,
you don’t know shit.
I don’t like to lie, Darius.
It’s dishonest as freakin’ hell.
-I’m not even friggin’ good at it.
-You don’t lie to your parents?
-No. I don’t have to.
-Yeah, we don’t got no rules.
My home’s lawless.
Shit.
My whole world is lies.
– Darius, who’s at the door?
– It’s the mailman, Ma.
Why is he coming around
here at dinner?
Sorry about that, Mom.
He left his sunglasses in the mailbox.
– Look what y’all did.
– Y’all got to go.
No, no. My mom
likes the coupons.
She likes the coupons.
Definitely. Yeah.
Just be cool.
They ain’t got shit on you.
I will.
I’ll let her know you said hi.
Mom, Mr. Postman
say hi.
Man, he’s a good liar.
Yeah, he’s the best.
-I don’t know if I got it in me, man.
-We might not even have to lie.
It was just an old parking lot.
No one’ll even care.
– Yo, check it out, son.
– We’re freakin’ famous.
Holy shit. It’s in
the school paper?
“There were no witnesses,
but the abandoned buildings in
the area are frequented by the homeless,
who are suspected
in the crime.”
They’re blaming the homeless?
Yo, that’s messed up.
Well, it’s better than us
getting in trouble.
We can’t tell anyone
about this.
We’re lying about it, and I don’t
like it, but we don’t got no choice.
I won’t freakin’ tell anyone, I swear.
I got secrets nobody can know.
They’re bone-chilling.
You guys wanna hear one?
Absolutely not, Russ.
Just keep it
to yourself.
It’s like he’s
looking right at me, Gary.
Why’d you do it, son?
You did a bad thing.
Just give me that.
It’s gonna make it worse.
– You guys
reading about the fire?
– No.
-We don’t have any interest in it.
-All right, that’s weird.
It’s a really big story, and the school
paper is flying off the shelves.
We’re crushing it, and helping to
get those animals off the streets.
-Who, the homeless?
-Yeah. They’re super dangerous,
they smell like urine
and they have AIDS.
They do?
Not all of them, but most.
Are they sure
the homeless did it?
How would I know?
I just deliver the papers.
They say I’m not ready
for my own story yet.
But they’ll see. I’m gonna
come up with something awesome,
and then they’ll go ape shit
and promote me.
Whew! I don’t
like this, man.
Lying’s hard.
Yeah, we’ll get better, man.
It just takes practice.
Hello. This is freakin’ Joel.
– I can’t freakin’ sleep.
– Yeah, me neither.
I got a storm inside my mind.
I’ve been trying to think about
wrestling moves to distract myself.
– But even that’s not working.
– It’s guilt, dude.
It’s tearing us apart.
Homeless people are taking the blame
while we live like freakin’ kings.
We’re lying to ourselves,
and we’re lying to the firemen.
They’re freakin’ heroes, man!
You start lying to your heroes,
next thing you know
I’m lying to you.
– Where does it end? – If you ever lie
to me, I’ll punch you in the head.
Dude, you should be punching me
if I lie to you.
You should punch me till my face
caves in to bones and mush.
Let’s just end this man, okay?
Let’s just confess.
The truth will set us free.
-It’s not as cool as I thought it
would be. -Yeah. It’s pretty shty.
Oh! Get out of here, you homeless punks!
Beat it!
No, man, we’re not homeless.
We’re here to talk to our heroes.
Oh. Oh, okay. You know,
sor-sorry about that, kids, you know.
We get a lot of homeless breaking
in these days to steal scrap metal.
If they’re not stealing metal,
then they’re starting fires.
It’s a whole thing,
you gotta understand.
Actually,
that’s what we wanna talk to you about.
Yo, Frankie,
ribs are done, baby,
and they are smokin’ hot.
Oh. Who’s this? What is this?
What’s going on here?
Holy shit! You two are like
a mirror image of each other.
– They’re freakin’ clones!
– No, no, no. We’re twins.
This is my brother Dino.
We’re just having
a little celebration…
for the parking lot fire
we put out the other day.
So, you know,
ribs and beers and such, you know.
Maybe some chocolate cake.
I don’t know.
What? You’re
celebrating the fire?
Goddamn right
we’re celebrating the fire.
It was the best goddamn thing
that ever happened to us.
Ah, geez, here I go.
Come on.
Well, I hope you boys
brought your appetite…
’cause I, uh, cooked
way too much food.
Frankie, are you sure
these aren’t street kids?
I mean, Jesus Christ.
These ribs are awesome. Mmm. Yeah.
They’re soft as mashed potatoes.
Well, that’s the brine, kids.
The brine is the most important part.
That’s where you’re getting
the succulence from.
Dino is a whiz
with the smoker.
He makes his own rubs.
You believe this guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And sadly, the grill is about the only
fire we get to put out these days.
What are you talking about?
Nobody gives a shit
about us anymore.
We’re like trashy–
Whoa. Frankie, come on.
These are kids here.
Watch the language.
Ah, it’s all right.
We curse all the time. Uh, yeah.
Frig. Shit. Piss.
Asshole. Dongs.
Son of a bitch.
All right, all right, all right.
Come on, come on.
Frankie’s just talking
about the old days…
when we used
to feel important.
Back when 9/11 happened.
We were on call 24/7. Anytime of
day you call us, we would be there.
I wish I was older
when 9/11 happened.
I would’ve frickin’ cried
for everyone.
I had abs
up to my neck.
We couldn’t go anywhere
without getting saluted.
Oh! And the broads.
Holy crap.
Is this you in the calendar?
Damn, you were jacked. You
look like frickin’ catalog models.
Ah, yeah, but things
are different now.
We might not even
be around much longer.
What? What do you mean? Ah. Cutbacks.
Yeah, with the recession and such,
it’s only a matter of time.
They can’t get rid of you guys.
You’re our heroes.
Nobody thinks they need
a fireman until it’s too late.
Say what you want about that disgusting
homeless piece of trash…
that started that fire,
but it was nice
to feel n-needed.
All right.
I gotta step back.
Okay, all right.
Easy, Frankie. Easy.
My-My brother’s
very emotional.
Hey, what did you kids wanna
talk to us about anyway, huh?
Can we get
your autograph?
I’ve never seen a hero down
in the dumps like that.
They can’t get rid
of the firemen.
Who’s gonna protect us from
terrorists and arsonists…
and curious youngsters
like ourselves?
Hey, big-time guy.
Yo, Martin, why are
you so dressed up?
I just had an important
job interview.
They cut my hours at the department
store because of the economía.
So I’m taking a second job at
the Internet Cafe. It’s a very big deal.
Oh! I always want to go to that place.
It’s futuristic as all hell.
Yeah, we’ve been looking to
get on the Internet more too.
The Internet
is the future, boys.
The information super
highway will connect us all.
Go, bag lady!
Leave us in peace!
This is our trash!
This is our street!
Yo, he’s boiling over.
Yeah, Martin, you got frickin’
steam coming out of your ears.
The homeless are
very dangerous, boys.
In my country,
we believe they are vampires.
They messed up when
they burned down that parking lot.
You hear me? They’re gonna
do something about you now!
iVampiro!
Don’t look them
in the eye, boys.
They can steal
your soul.
– Yo, it’s freakin’ Joel.
– Yo, I can’t sleep again, dude.
Me neither. I can’t stop thinking
about the frickin’ firemen.
We need to figure out
how to reinspire them…
and remind everyone
why they’re so important.
Well, how the hell are we gonna do that,
start another fire?
Oh, shit, dude, that’s it.
We gotta start another fire.
Well, wait.
What about the homeless?
It’ll be good for them too.
If they go to jail,
they’ll get a place to
sleep and a toilet so
they don’t have to piss
all over the streets.
, that’s clean for the city.
Setting fires and lying
are supposed to be bad,
but in this case,
they’re actually good.
It’s confusing.
I know.
The world’s
a complicated place.
We gotta figure out
how to start a big fire.
What in the hell?
We’re gonna set another fire,
and we need your help.
It is 1:00 in the morning.
Are y’all two out of your damn minds?
Sorry, man. We didn’t
mean to wake you up.
It ain’t about being woken up.
I wasn’t asleep.
This is when I watch them pay
channels and eat my junk food.
Moms think I go
to bed at 8:00.
But when midnight come around,
man, I pop up like toast.
Could you let us use your Internet
and do some research…
on how to light
a building on fire?
Hell, no.
I ain’t winding up on no watch list.
Do not mess with Google.
Them fools is like the C.I.A.
– Darius? – It’s okay, Mom.
– Some kid threw an egg at the doorbell.
I got it under control. Wanna clean
it up before the sun come back out.
– See what y’all did.
– I’m coming down there!
I swear to God,
if you’re eating that cheeseburger–
I’m coming up right now, Ma.
It’s okay. I got– It’s under control.
See, now I got to put
the cheergseburger in my pocket. Happy?
Now, Martin, you’ll find
the majority of the job here…
is just cleaning up
after the clientele.
I can sweep a broom,
empty the trash.
It is no problemo.
You got a good worker here, guy.
Well, unfortunately,
it’s trash of another nature.
– What it is?
– I hesitate to say.
It used to be
that a cyber cafe was a place…
where families could gather
and discover new technology.
Nowadays, most decent folk
got Internet at home.
And this place is more akin…
to a bus stop or a dock area.
The bulk of our
business is–
Well, it’s men pleasuring
themselves to pornography.
That’s jacked up, bro.
We had to stop
serving food in here…
because it was being
incorporated into the fantasy.
I found a man in the bathroom doing
unspeakable things to a panini.
He was having the sex with it?
Oh, uh, I wish
it were that simple.
Hey, amigos.
You here to surf
the cyber space?
Just doing some research, Martin.
Watch out for perverts, okay?
Yeah, we always do.
Yeah, this is good, man.
It’s untraceable. Nobody’s gonna know.
Gary?
Oh, hey, Megan.
I’ve never seen you here before. You’re
working on an article for the paper?
I come here sometimes to
write away from other teens.
Teens can be so judgmental.
One Girl’s
Struggle from Regret to Redemption.”
What the frig is this?
I don’t know if I would read that.
I will slap the teeth
out of your head. Sorry.
– What the hell are you
guys doing here anyway?
– She knows, man.
– I know what?
– Nothing.
We’re just…
blasting off e-mails…
and checking out Web sites
and surfing and stuff.
I might e-mail
the president about the economy.
He’s not gonna write you back.
I’ve already tried.
Do you think the president will find
out if you’re on a Web site about fires?
What?
What is his deal?
Nothing.
Mm-hmm.
pile up the cans in the corner.
– Oh, man, I hope this thing lights.
– You guys, check it out.
– Freakin’ flamethrower!
– Be careful, Russ.
Man, we shouldn’t have brought him,
dude. We need him for his paint cans.
It’s gonna be awesome.
We’ll burn the shit out of this place.
Then we’ll be heroes. Right. Just
remember, we can’t tell anyone, okay?
Not even me? Ha! Busted!
Oh, man. How did you
know we were here?
Call it journalistic instinct.
Also, Russ told me about it. What?
Russ, come on! Damn it, Russ!
Why would you do that?
‘Cause I wanna be in the
paper so I’m famous
and my brother won’t
torture me anymore.
He kicks me in the ears
and he puts his rabbits in my bed.
Guess I finally
found my story.
I’ll be the first to report about this,
and they’ll have to promote me.
I might even get
my own column. Great.
Now she’s gonna rat us out.
We’re screwed.
Relax. I’m not gonna mention you guys.
I’m pinning the fires on the homeless.
What? You can’t do that.
Newspapers have to tell the truth.
It’s the code of the newsmen.
Please. They lie all the time.
Plus, I hate the homeless and I wanna
get rid of them, so this is perfect.
We’re helping the firemen too.
I don’t care about your thing.
Let’s stop frickin’ talking and do this.
Joel, you’re the fastest.
I can’t this time.
I busted my ankle when I was running
away from Megan at the Internet Cafe.
All right. I’ll do it.
Stand back.
Dang! Aw, man!
Whoa!
Oh, my God!
There’s smoke
everywhere.
I can’t see.
Me neither.
Oh, well. We’re gonna die.
I can’t see.
We’re trapped.
This is what happens
when you lie!
Why did I care so much
about being on the paper?
I’m not even a good writer. What?
I think I might
be dyslexic.
I have a confession to make
that I’m dyslexic!
I confess that
my brother molested me!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Jesus Christ, Russ!
We’ll deal with that later.
Let’s just find our way out first,
all right?
How’s your ankle, Joel?
You need me to carry you?
Ankle’s fine. I lied ’cause
I was scared of getting blown up.
I confess that I lied
to my best friend!
What? I can’t believe
you frickin’ lied to me.
It was wrong
and I’m sorry.
What the hell?
I think you bashed my retina.
I’m sorry, man.
But I told you if you ever lied to me,
I’d punch you in the face.
If I didn’t punch you,
I’d be lying.
♪ Amazing grace ♪
♪ How sweet the sound ♪
♪ It’s amazing ♪
♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪
♪ How we’ll ever be amazing ♪
What the hell’s he singing? I don’t know,
but it may be the last thing we ever hear.
We’re alive!
Oh, shit.
We’re covered in blood, dude.
That ain’t blood.
It’s barbecue sauce.
Dino, Frankie.
You saved us.
We were heading
down to the shore…
a barbecue competition.
We almost missed
the call.
That is the first time we’ve rescued
someone from a fire in years.
Tell you somethin’, if
I get my hands on the
homeless son of a bitch
who lit this fire,
I’ll gouge
his freakin’ eyes out…
with these thumbs
right here, huh?
Ah, I wish the fire would
have washed over this place…
like a great wave…
and rid me of my burden.
I’m a prisoner, Martin,
and this is
my dungeon of come.
No! You do not say that stuff,
Mr. Lewelyn. I will not have it.
I burnt my asshole.
I hope it’s not sealed shut.
Gross. Yeah, what was that stuff you were
yelling about getting molested, Russ?
One time my brother
told me to close my eyes…
’cause a pretty girl
was gonna give me a kiss…
and then he put jumper
cables on my scrotum.
Oh, Russ, man, you didn’t get molested.
You got tricked.
Yeah, that’s just you
being dumb, man.
It’s not a freakin’ trick. It’s a
molesting. Megan, can you believe this?
Wait. Hold on.
Where’s Megan?
Holy crap, dude.
Megan’s still inside.
Too late. She’s toast.
Her skin’s probably melted off.
Firemen! Hey!
Our friend’s trapped inside!
Go save her!
Ah, no, no. I can’t.
It’s too intense.
My body’s breaking down.
Yeah, this is it.
My left arm, the whole thing.
Let me just take a knee for a second.
Yep, I’m down.
Ah! Stop eating so much
friggin’ barbecue.
Hey, what happened
to these guys, huh?
These chiseled heroes
would never give up.
Those guys are friggin’ beefcakes.
Don’t show me that. What are you
doing with that? Put that thing away!
I carry it around to remind me of the
strongest, toughest, bravest dudes…
I’ve ever seen
in my whole life.
They used to be my heroes.
I wonder what happened to ‘em.
You wanna know
what happened to them?
This is what happened
to them.
Whoa!
– I got tits!
– Jesus, Dino. Put your shirt back on.
Oh, goddamn!
Let everybody see!
I’m a disgrace!
That’s it.
I’m going in.
Then I’m going with you. Man, look!
She’s alive!
What happened?
You almost got burned alive,
but the bag lady saved you.
Bag lady,
how did you know we were in there?
That’s where
I live.
So you carried me out
of the burning building?
Yes, I did.
Oh, my God! She touched me!
I need an AIDS test!
AIDS monster!
AIDS monster!
AIDS monster!
Vampiro, get out of here!
Powerful God, give me the strength
and the power of Jesúcristo…
to defeat the vampire demon.
Give her hell, José.
Stupid bitch nearly killed us both.
Leave her alone.
She ain’t no vampire.
She’s a hero.
She didn’t start the fire.
We did.
Both of ‘em.
Ah, no, you’re kidding me.
You seem like
such nice kids.
We did it for you.
Well, the first one we did…
’cause we’re curious youngsters
and we love fire.
But the second one
we did for you.
We lied about it,
and that was wrong. I know.
But not as wrong
as giving up…
on homeless bums,
on our heroes…
and on ourselves.
That’s
a good lesson, boys.
God bless us, everyone.
This is the sunshine
of the Lord.
Ah, Mr. Lewelyn,
are you masturbating?
I am.
I’m afraid I’m not immune
to temptation either.
Help me, Martin.
I will help you.
We will help each other.
All of us.
And we will get through these
depressed times together.
What? I can’t drop
nothing on my clothes.
Mom thinks I’m at
a church group right now.
Hey, you really do lie
about everything.
Lie till you die, son.
I’m gonna live my life.
Well, we’re done lying. Yeah.
We realized it was wrong.
Wrong how?
Lying ain’t the problem.
It’s y’all trying
to burn down buildings and shit.
And if you kept your mouth shut,
everything would’ve been fine.
The homeless would’ve gotten blamed
though, and that ain’t right.
They don’t give a shit. That bitch
is over there eating lipstick.
No. Mrs. Helen, makeup is not to eat.
It’s for beauty.
Hey, listen.
Thanks for everything, boys.
And let me tell you something.
We’re not going anywhere.
You helped us realize that this
town does need us to protect it…
from kids like you
and your mentally
disabled friend over
there who got molested.
♪ It’s amazing ♪
We’re getting back in shape too.
Aren’t we, Dino?
Ah. I’m gonna get
a breast reduction. What?
No, no, no, Dino.
No way. No shortcuts.
That’s like, uh– That’s like
microwaving a pork shoulder.
Ah, you’re right.
You’re right.
Come here,
you son of a bitch.
You think you can take me?
No way. Gary,
they wrestle too.
Of course they do.
They’re the sweetest dudes in the world.

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